Left Right

Roll, sound, camera. Action! “How do I live?” The monologue was concluded by a loud applause from my director and crew members. I ran towards our movie’s cinematographer and kissed him on the cheek. I said “Oh man! I have never looked so dominating on the screen before.” Kisses, long handshakes and pats on the back were exchanged while I happily captured these moments on my camera. Standing there at the centre of Piazza Navona, seeing those gleeful and exultant faces of people, it felt I had done something really exceptional in a long time.
Later that night, while we were having dinner at Glass Hostaria, everyone was talking about how beautiful and enthralling Rome was. Our producer, Mr Rakesh Sharma munching through his slices of pizza still complained about how bland the Italian food was. A pure Delhi-ite, Sharmaji was the one who would always stop at those roadside spicy pani puris, the piquant samosas and chole bhatures. On the corner of the table, I could see Martino uncannily looking towards me. Martino was the gaffer and probably had never liked me. Martino was very close to our director, Umang Shergill and he was always ill-disposed to my acting and skills. Out of whole cast and crew, Umang was the merriest. After a gap of five years, he had a breakthrough script. It was a challenging script to direct and Umang had put months of effort into this movie. Being a man of principles, Umang woke up every day at 5 am, meditated for an hour and sat with Martino discussing about the movie. This was our last dinner together in Rome before parting for post-production. I always had my camera ready for these treasured moments. Around 12 am, I stood up and went. It was strange of me to leave my team and walk away. While Sharmaji and others planned for one last night of euphoria and booze, I simply went up to St. Peter’s Basilica. I didn’t believe in God or his miracles of changing water to wine. Despite all this atheism, I went there and asked for benevolence and mercy. The authoritative power that I had felt at the Piazza Navona had captivated me. “A gun to shoot, a knife to stab, a rope to strangle.”
Five years had gone by after that night. Our movie Left Right had been a huge success. After we had returned from Rome, the editing and promotions had been done with equal vigour. The movie had garnered high praises from the critics, veterans and public. The chants of “Oscar! Oscar!” had filled the theatres. I too had won a National Award for Best Actor for this movie. Amidst all this success and exuberance, a tragic and quite baffling event happened. Martino was jailed for the alleged murder of Umang Shergill and was under trial. Two months after returning from Rome, Umang was found murdered, lying in his blood in his flat. I always knew that, that gaffer boy wasn’t a normal one. Sibylline, dark eyed and hostile to every optimism, Martino had shot, then stabbed and strangled Umang till he could no longer see light. The whole country was in shock when the news of Umang’s mysterious death flooded the headlines, newspaper and social networking sites.
It was exactly five years from that night. Standing in front of the mirror, holding the National Award, I delivered the monologue. “You were wrong. There are no liberals vs conservatives. There are no Nazis vs anti Nazis. You all need a side to pick a fight. A side which caters your needs, a side which is socially acceptable and a side which makes you human. A few years when my house was razed down by the conflagration, I was the same flesh as you. The world condemned me, it gave me power. Remember, there are only two real sides, left and right. What is left is always left and what you will do, is right. Let power consume you. Let fire burn your flesh and expose your true sides. A gun to shoot, a knife to stab, a rope to strangle. If you can’t, then ask yourself “How do I live?” “
Martino was to be hanged tomorrow. Power isolates you.